theses
Not another subscription treat box. Not another tele-vet point solution. A true platform, vertically integrated, brand-led, and built around the modern pet parent. Vet tech. Grooming. Supplements. Home delivery. Bundled into one membership, one app, one trusted brand. 1. Pet ownership is booming, but the experience is broken. There are
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Every week I hear a new acronym agencies are peddling: • LLM SEO • Generative Engine Optimization (GEO) • AIO (AI Optimization) • Conversational SEO • Answer Engine Optimization (AEO) • RAI (Retrieval-Augmented Indexing) Pick your flavour of alphabet soup.....none of it has a foundation. I’ve spoken to a dozen agencies in the last
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Plenty think they have. They’ll show you their org charts, explain how value creation is now a “core capability,” and proudly announce that every portfolio company has a VCP tracked in Asana. But scratch the surface, and what you find is usually a muddled mix of consulting theatre, internal
cases
Recurring demand. Predictable cash flow. Memberships that feel like SaaS. And with tunnel washes, a low-labor, high-throughput model that looks engineered for scale. But most investors are still underwriting these deals like it’s 1998: “Find the best corner lot, count the cars, and wait for the money.” That’s
cases
Spirit Halloween isn’t just a pop-up store, it’s a seasonal private equity case study wrapped in polyester. Spirit Halloween is a masterclass in business model design. They sell plastic swords and polyester capes, but the real magic trick is how they run the business: • A billion‑dollar sprint
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Why? Because the call center model is a perfect storm of inefficiency: • High cost, low value-add: Average U.S. call center agent wage is ~$38k. Add training, turnover (30–45% annually), and management overhead… the true cost per seat is easily $60k+. • Customer experience is broken: Long waits, scripted answers,
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We’ve been here before. The dot-com bubble. Social media “revolutions.” Crypto and web3. Same playbook: • Hype attracts capital. • Capital attracts consultants. • Consultants attract grifters. • Then the floor falls out. AI isn’t special, it’s just next in line. Signs are everywhere: • PE firms bragging about “AI initiatives” that
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The old model was deceptively simple: • Load up on cheap debt. • Buy a business at 8x, sell it at 12x. • Slap on a board of grey-haired ex-CEOs. • Add a 100-day plan, mostly cost-cutting and vague “strategic priorities.” • Hope the market bails you out with multiple expansion. That model worked. And
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Not because the people aren’t smart. Not because they don’t want to help. But because they’ve been designed to observe, not build. Most boards in private equity aren’t boards. They’re quarterly compliance checks with catered sandwiches. You get the same format every time: - 100-page
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I’d start with the people who actually do the work: - Operators buried in integration plans - Founders trying to scale without getting fired - Growth-stage CEOs caught between board slides and bank covenants - The associate who just got asked to “benchmark CAC across the portfolio” by 9am
theses
The aesthetics industry loves talking about location like it’s gospel. “Affluent ZIP code.” “High visibility.” “Street-front retail.” However, the best med spa location might be someone else’s. Here’s the 3x thesis behind why hotel and gym partnerships on a rev-share model are one of the most overlooked
cases
While most of the industry was busy chasing AI and SaaS, three private equity firms quietly turned a roofing supply business into a $10B+ revenue juggernaut, then exited for $18.25B. No hype. No headlines. Just a masterclass in disciplined execution. Here’s how it went down: 2008: AEA Investors