I saw a PE firm proudly announce a “Head of AI” hire last week.

LP theatre has entered its final form.

Private equity has been doing this for longer than people think.

The job titles just follow whatever LPs were worried about that year.

Early 2000s: “Six Sigma / Lean Operating Partner”
Translation: hired to fix operations across the portfolio, ended up running workshops no one implemented

Mid 2000s: “Procurement / Strategic Sourcing Lead”
Translation: promised group purchasing savings, delivered a slide on “synergies”

2007: “Offshoring / Globalisation Lead”
Translation: moved a call center to India and called it transformation

2010: “Integration / Synergy Realisation Partner”
Translation: built a 100-day plan that died on day 12

2012: “Pricing Strategy Lead”
Translation: ran a McKinsey deck and nudged prices 2%

2014: “Commercial Excellence Partner”
Translation: introduced a CRM, no one filled it in

2016: “Growth / Go-To-Market Operating Partner”
Translation: changed the org chart and added pipeline reviews

2018: “Head of Digital Transformation”
Translation: bought tools, created dashboards, still no decisions made

2020: “Operating Partner, ESG”
Translation: optimised the annual report

2021: “Head of DEI”
Translation: ran a workshop, updated the website, nothing changed in hiring or promotion

2026: “Head of AI Operating Partner”
Translation: added a pilot, scaled nothing

The pattern is painfully consistent.

These roles are sold internally as “portfolio impact”.

They’re sold externally as “firm capability”.

But too often they land as neither.

Because the real issue isn’t the function.

It’s that most firms still don’t give these people the authority to actually change anything.

So you end up with very expensive, very experienced people…

…hosting meetings about work they’re not allowed to do.

The best operating partners don’t follow trends.

They follow control.

If they can’t touch pricing, marketing, sales, and hiring…they’re not operating partners.

They’re observers with a title.