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We’ve been here before. The dot-com bubble. Social media “revolutions.” Crypto and web3. Same playbook: • Hype attracts capital. • Capital attracts consultants. • Consultants attract grifters. • Then the floor falls out. AI isn’t special, it’s just next in line. Signs are everywhere: • PE firms bragging about “AI initiatives”
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The old model was deceptively simple: • Load up on cheap debt. • Buy a business at 8x, sell it at 12x. • Slap on a board of grey-haired ex-CEOs. • Add a 100-day plan, mostly cost-cutting and vague “strategic priorities.” • Hope the market bails you out with multiple expansion.
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Not because the people aren’t smart. Not because they don’t want to help. But because they’ve been designed to observe, not build. Most boards in private equity aren’t boards. They’re quarterly compliance checks with catered sandwiches. You get the same format every time: - 100-page
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I’d start with the people who actually do the work: - Operators buried in integration plans - Founders trying to scale without getting fired - Growth-stage CEOs caught between board slides and bank covenants - The associate who just got asked to “benchmark CAC across the portfolio” by 9am tomorrow PE isn’
Theses
The aesthetics industry loves talking about location like it’s gospel. “Affluent ZIP code.” “High visibility.” “Street-front retail.” However, the best med spa location might be someone else’s. Here’s the 3x thesis behind why hotel and gym partnerships on a rev-share model are one of the
Cases
While most of the industry was busy chasing AI and SaaS, three private equity firms quietly turned a roofing supply business into a $10B+ revenue juggernaut, then exited for $18.25B. No hype. No headlines. Just a masterclass in disciplined execution. Here’s how it went down: 2008: AEA Investors
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Every PE-backed company is “undergoing a transformation.” It’s become the universal excuse for underperformance: “We’re not hitting plan... but we are transforming!” Let’s decode what that usually means: – Hired a CFO who finally built a budget – Fired the founder (again) – Finance moved from Excel v95 to
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I’d start with buyers. And I definitely wouldn’t copy what exists today, because the current SMB brokerage landscape is terrible. Let’s be honest: The average business broker today is either: — A retired accountant who thinks they understand dealmaking because they did a few taxes — An attorney who’
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AI is already writing emails, building decks, writing copy, designing ads, optimising media… and it’s only getting better. What used to be a 15-person team doing grunt work across SEO, SEM, cold outreach, and reporting? Now it’s a prompt and a feedback loop. But the interesting bit
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There’s a whole ecosystem now built on one promise: “You can buy a business with no money down and become financially free in 12 months.” It sounds like M&A. It looks like private equity. But it behaves like a multi-level marketing scheme. Because here’s what’
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If even three of these sound familiar, congratulations: You’re funding someone else’s lifestyle while your growth flatlines. Let’s begin: 1. They lock you into long-term contracts If they were confident in their work, you wouldn’t need handcuffs. 2. They control your ad accounts, website, and
Everyone knows something big just happened, but most people have no idea what it actually means. Back then, the iPhone launched. And suddenly, every company was scrambling to “go mobile.” - Mobile-friendly websites - Mobile CRM dashboards - Shrunk-down apps that did less, looked worse, and cost more to build Most