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Somehow we all accept that in every other part of the business. Capex gets a model. Headcount gets a plan. Even the CFO’s “strategic initiatives” get a spreadsheet and a quiet prayer. Marketing gets vibes. That’s why I call the right theory "Investment Marketing". Marketing is
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It’s lost on “good” deals that nobody knows how to run. The model works. The thesis makes sense. The entry multiple is defensible. Then the deal closes. The deal team rotates to the next opportunity. Attention shifts. Execution becomes someone else’s problem. That’s when ambiguity creeps in.
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CFO wants ROI by channel. Marketing says attribution is complicated. Both are correct. One is trying to run a business. The other is trying to win an argument. Attribution is the adult version of astrology. It’s brilliant at explaining the past and useless at predicting the future. And somehow
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It’s evidence you know how to raise a fund. Those two skills get conflated constantly. Conveniently. Raising capital proves you can tell a compelling story, manage a process, and convince LPs. It does not prove you can fix pricing. It does not prove you can scale demand. It does
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You’ve met them. Their superpower is turning reality into a “narrative” and then asking Comms to make it feel “more confident”. This chart is basically the leadership landscape. Top left: doing the actual work. Calling the ugly stuff early. Making decisions that annoy people in the moment and save
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The pitch is always the same. Senior people. “A team”. “Specialists”. “We’ve done this before.” Then the project starts and you meet your real agency. A junior account manager, a rotating cast of channel kids, and one person who seems to have been awake since 2019. And every month
life
Vogue’s remix of Gainsborough portraits vs the runway is a tidy reminder that “quiet luxury” is just 300-year-old status signaling with better lighting. link Travel + Leisure says solo travel is surging (and the “trending” list is basically California + a few obvious staples), which is your permission slip to book
news
Garden City Equity Raises $255 Million Without Institutional LPs Garden City Equity raised $255 million from operators, athletes, and entertainers and skipped institutional LPs entirely. That is either genius long-duration capital with zero pacing pressure or a reminder that everyone now wants to cosplay as Berkshire Hathaway without the 40-year
deals
Mubadala and TWG Take Clear Channel Outdoor Private in $6.2 Billion Deal Clear Channel Outdoor is being taken private in a $6.2 billion all-cash deal led by Mubadala Capital in partnership with TWG Global. Announced February 9, this is one of the largest leveraged buyouts of the year
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You buy the platform. You add bolt ons. You put “synergies” in 48pt font and act like you’ve invented fire. Then you discover the truth: You didn’t buy one business. You bought twelve different versions of reality. One CRM that’s basically a diary One CRM that’s
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That is modern private equity marketing in one line. Same agency decks. Same attribution models. Same promises about growth. Different logos, identical output. Turn the lights off and you could not tell which portfolio company you are looking at. This is not a creative problem. It is a measurement problem.
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It’s not petty. It’s death by a thousand paper cuts. Here’s the stuff everyone recognises immediately. Channel silos and finger pointing Paid blames creative. Creative blames the site. The site blames tracking. Tracking blames GA4. Nobody owns the outcome, everyone owns a slide. Test and learn graveyard